I met the friendliest cop last night
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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