Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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