I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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