Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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