16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
