ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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