ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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