your thong is hanging out like whoa
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
