we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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