Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
All the doctor said was why
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
