Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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