with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I'm really busy with my period
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