weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Randomize
