he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
