Whod you bang
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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