Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
