what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
