Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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