this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
