I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
