Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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