dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
