I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
