he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize