the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
