Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
