im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I forget how to act sober
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize