Non-Jews are for practice
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
