i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
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my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
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Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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