You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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