Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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