So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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