its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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