I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
