Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Success! We fucked roommates!
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
