Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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