She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
