how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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