So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
