I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
