I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
