your room smells of hookers.
And success
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
she woke up with a sticky ear
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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