And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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