no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize