Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
