you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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