there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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