God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Watching her eat just hurts me
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
