im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
