This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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