i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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