Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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