why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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