How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
