Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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