Kiss
Puke
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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