her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize