I CAN MOONWALK!
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
