Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
