I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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