You're completely useless in the revolution.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
