I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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