This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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